for the singles

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I've decided single gals who exemplify these principles deserve Iron Woman trophies, since mastering them takes the kind of patience and discipline and trust and determination we tend to hope we didn't need to have haha =)

http://intervarsity.org/slj/article/2365

Here is my abridged version:

1. Don’t let dating or the desire for marriage become your god.

2. Finding the right person is not nearly as important as being the right person. Who are you becoming? What is the basis of your identity, hope for the future, security? Many people pursue relationships as the solution to their problems, such as insecurity, loneliness, lust, lack of direction or bad self-image.

3. We fear rejection, so we conform to what we suppose others prefer. Healthy marriages are never built on images or masks, but rather on openness.

4. Seek friendship and wait on romance. Romance will grab you soon enough, but friendship requires careful development.

5. Live in the reality of where a relationship is in its development, not in the fantasy of where you would like it to be.

6. Enjoy each relationship and resist the temptation of constantly trying to discern where you are in it — and where the other person is.

7. Be patient. Nothing good happens fast.

8. Check your motivation for the relationship from time to time. Many people are in love with being in love, rather than seeking what's best for the other.

9. Don’t so entwine the other person in your demands and expectations that he or she cannot fulfill their own potential. Jealousy is a key sign of our desire to possess another rather than to serve them.

10. Develop many lines of communication, especially in the areas of dialogue, problem solving, mutual interests, awareness of each other’s daily living patterns and habits, emotions, affection, service to others, spiritual life and family relationships.

11. Sexual expression is a powerful form of communication and should be carefully limited in order to allow other areas to develop. The physical can frequently and easily become a primary concern and become very difficult to control. Talk early and carefully within a relationship about guidelines in physical communication and be sure to agree on your goals in all areas.

12. Always be aware of the level of communication in relation to the level of commitment. It is easy to communicate more deeply than the level of commitment can support, whether that be in the area of interests, sexual expression or even spiritual concerns.

13. Be open about all aspects of your relationship with others who love and care about you. “There is safety in a multitude of counselors” (see Proverbs 11:14). Let your relationship stand in the context of others.

14. Realize that whenever you care for, serve and love someone, you can (and probably will) get hurt. Trust each relationship as a learning experience, no matter what ultimately happens. Don’t immediately assume that a relationship which moves away from romance is an indication that there is something wrong with you. It could be for the best.