wedding guests

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"what every woman ought to know about love and marriage" by joyce brothers

when i read this book one of the more philosophical passages really struck me -

"A wedding is public business," Lance Morrow wrote in Time. "That is the point of it. The couple is not merely marrying one another. They are joining the enterprise of the human race. They are, at least in part, submitting themselves to the larger logics of life, to the survival of the community, to life itself."

i cant say i've ever thought much about the larger social responsibility marriage entails, far too outdated a concept for us these days. even the intense social pressure that used to exist against divorce didn't seem to be so much about being a good example or furthering the good of the community, just about following social norms or religious principles. maybe social good is/was implicit in those things, either way i've only thought of the witnesses at weddings as being there for the bride and groom on their special day, and receiving honor and thanks for supporting the couple to that happy point. you forget they're not just guests, they're witnesses. most people might think of their kids before submitting to a divorce, and perhaps immediate family members who might be affected, but i wouldn't have thought about how the community and our society and the girl next door who just got engaged might be impacted by what they witness and see of our marriage after that special day. just interesting to consider i guess =)

well the more i read the harder and harder marriage sounds! i was bummed to read joyce quote one lady who said "i had magical fantasies about marriage. but there was no magic in marriage. just a lot of hard work."

=\

thankfully the next line read "nor did they find marriage anything like living together. marriage was better."

=)

i'll still believe in a lot of hard work for at least little bit of magic...